Biting

It can be a shock to find that your beautiful baby, raised in a loving and non-violent home, is biting playmates. But rest assured - many children go through a biting phase, and they do outgrow it.
Common reasons for biting include:

• Teething - usually in babies or younger toddlers;
• Curiosity - babies have no concept that their actions can hurt others, and may just be wondering what something tastes like;
• Frustration, anger, or feeling hurt - usually in children who do not have the language skills to express themselves verbally, or do not have the physical ability to get away from another child who has hurt them.

Biting can happen more often when a child is going through a major change, such as weaning, a new baby arriving in the family, or moving to a new house. Children also find it more difficult to control impulsive behaviour when they are tired or hungry.

Empathy is a difficult concept to grasp, and can take some time to learn. While biting will be outgrown with time, there are things you can do to help:

• In a younger baby who may be biting to soothe their gums or out of curiosity, a gentle "no" and offering a teething ring or toy will redirect the biting.
• For toddlers and preschoolers, it can help to identify triggers. Keep a note of the time the incident occurred, what happened immediately before the bite, how it was dealt with, and what happened after the incident.
• Look for patterns: is the child more likely to bite at the end of the day when they are tired? Do they bite most often in disputes over toys? These notes can also be useful in identifying the most effective way to react to the biting.
• Avoid situations where biting is most likely to occur. This may mean separating two children who tend to bite each other.
• Help your child learn appropriate ways to resolve disagreements or cope with frustration. Teach your child to say "stop!" while putting their hand up, and to ask for help from adults if they need to.
• Watch carefully when the child is playing with others. There is no need to intervene in every disagreement. But if a child looks as though they are about to bite rather than resolve the disagreement in an appropriate way, it is important to step in.

Responding to biting with physical discipline, such as biting the child back, is unlikely to help the situation. Instead of understanding how the other person felt when they were bitten, the child may learn that it is reasonable to bite when you are very angry.

As with many behavioural issues, consistency is key. Talk to your child care provider about how they react to biting incidents, and ensure that your methods are compatible.